Han secretly likes kittens (stuffy) wrote in wyvern,
Han secretly likes kittens

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Uh... Day What?

This is all a little complicated.

After Tarlia told us about the mists, and after I found out somebody stole my Twinkies (Stole my TWINKIES! The evil, conniving...), I decided to run into the mist, and... well, it turns out to be some kind of random portal.

I got transported to ancient Norway/Scandinavia! Yes, the land of the Vikings, and on top of all that I got caught, and... well, this is a little weird. They saw the submarine on my T-shirt and called it a blueprint for some super vessel or stuff, and then they tried to make me engineer (I forgot what they said, but it sounds to me like engineer) for their new ship.

Like I know physics at all. (E=mc square?)

They tried to bribe me with Twinkies (YES! They exist there! Dear good lord) and I was so... very.... persuaded... I took the whole lot and ran off, and wonders by wonders, there was this nice cloud of mist sitting there...

Whereupon I find myself back to Sherlock Forest. Is it Sherlock? I think I've forgotten. The camp seems to be empty. I guess those bloody Robin and his Merry Men are having some concert somewhere and all of the Wyvern people went and cheer and scream at him. Oh well, eat Twinkies...

Did I mention that when I got to Scandinavia, I managed to grow a beard somehow overnight?

*tapes several strands of new, dark red beard on the journal*

I wonder why I've red beard. I'm supposed to be Chinese.

(30 minutes later)
Friar Tuck just met with me. He was pretty disheveled, very dirty, and the love handles he has are really out of passion. He's also reading behind my back what I'm writing, so Friar Tuck, BACK OFF!

Good, he's off to try eating the Twinkies wrappers (which I recommended). It seems that my little day over in Scandinavia turned out to be more than a week, which is extremely logical because random portals are supposed to be random. Seems that all the Wyvern people had been captured, and Marion has struck up a contract with Sheriff Whathisname. Marion's planning to have a hostile takeover on Robin's boyband company, and they managed to convince Robin (AKA = idiot) plus the Merry Men (AKA=bunch of imbeciles) that it is a good thing. Damn it! Only Friar Tuck out of the Merry Men was smart enough to notice that the $10000000000 promised to Robin in the contract had a miniscule decimal dot after the dollar ($) sign. The Sheriff's men were also smart and they put Friar Tuck in a cosy little room away from the other Merry men, so that he could be like Aung Sang Syu Ki and bitch about his freedom. Friar Tuck managed to sneak out of Sheriff Whathisname's prison and returned to the outlaw campgrounds, telling Sheriff that he was Robin's tour organiser and had to do, 'you know, tour-organising stuff'.

Come to think of it, a boyband being paid for just a penny sounds like a good thing...

Oh blast, does that mean I have to save the Wyvern people? With... Friar Tuck?! Why can't it be Little John or the blind bard who managed to sneak out?

Speaking of bard, Friar Tuck was good enough to inform me that he is singing Destiny's Child songs in the prison. Fun-ta-doo-dee-dah.

I knew I should have watched Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon more often!!!

*continued with illustrations of Stuffy doing Matrix martial arts on Robin Hood*
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